Monday 21 January 2013

Mr Self Destruct

Mr. Self Destruct.



WAIT. PLEASE I shout, I had just managed to capture the bus drivers attention as it was about to head off. I jumped on and said thank you while feeling a little out of breath. The bus driver then for whatever reason just looked up at me and greeted me with a look of disgust while shaking his head in frustration. At that moment deep down I wanted to punch him square in the nose and watch it explode with sprays of delightful shades of electric crimson red blood glistening from the winter sun. Or maybe think of the film Fight Club and the scene where Edward Norton (Myself) is sitting comfortably on top of the poor blonde man's chest with his arms pinned down (the bus driver) now gets his face pounded to shit left to right until nearly all of his teeth is removed and gags on his own blood. Haven't seen Fight Club? No. Shame, I reckon you are missing out. Oh and it stars Brad Pitt. Remember you are not a unique and beautiful snowflake and also self improvement is masturbation. Go fuck yourself.


Making less of a scene here though through scenes of violence, even a simple Go Fuck Yourself would have felt good. That is what I should have told the bus driver. Instead I just muttered my anger briefly, sat down slowly and shook my head feeling my blood slowly boil on a medium to high heat. If it was going to piss you off that much BUS DRIVER, why didn't you just fucking drive off and leave me there in the bitter cold, you fucking twat. What lovely thoughts I have. With my blood pressure having now returned to normal on my short journey I eventually leave the bus but not before I stop and turn to him and shake my head with a look of utter disgust first. This is my great comeback, my great reply, my great moment. I admit It felt rather disappointing when being compared to seeing my fist covered in blood. I must add that I have never been in a blood bath fight or even a decent fight to that matter, so maybe that's way it seems more appealing to have physical fights involved in my imagination. A decent punch up is now being added to my bucket list.


Don't kid yourself young man.



My next meeting with the same bus driver weeks later presented me with another glorious opportunity to act on my first instincts. Picture this, I lay my money down and tell him my journey. A return ticket to Seaview Road please driver I say. He seems a lot happier today it seems. Actually I am not going to tell the rest of this pointless story, its more extreme that's for sure, although I believe you get the jest of it now. The driver gets a warning from his manager and I nearly used my bag full of my dads spanners as a weapon. That is all. Sorry, maybe you really want to know what happened? Well, maybe I will tell the story further on down the line. There's not much time!


Make time you prick.

 
They say a watched pot won't ever boil. And it's not heaven or God that I am searching for. My thoughts get drowned out from the children's programmes. Your children only get one childhood and I am wasting a small part of it to write these simple stories. So lets hope you can relate to them in some way and get something if anything out of this blog to help you in whatever path you are on.


Stay positive dickhead.


It's snowing outside. So I'm now off out to build a snowman with my son, back soon.


Make sure you came back soon you silly water melons.